Camionetas

Transportation here can be quite an experience. The most comfortable method of travel are Pullmans but they’re rare and only on the Pan-American Highway. The most common form of transportation are camionetas and riding on them is an essential experience of Guatemalan life. Camionetas are school buses from the U.S. that have somehow found their way down here. Usually they’re painted different colors but sometimes you’ll see the traditional yellow with the name of a U.S. school district on the side. At the front of the bus there is the leftover English sign that reads “Your child’s safety is our business.” These signs are pretty funny because if you’ve ever been on a camioneta you know that safety isn’t exactly a priority. The system is quite simple: the more people you can fit on your camioneta the more money you’ll make by giving them passage. As a result everyone is packed in on top of one another. I am especially at a disadvantage when it comes to riding in camionetas. I have long legs and when I sit down my knees are mashed into the metal back of the seat in front of me. The bumpy, unpaved road to Salquil Grande only makes this worse and I just have to grin and bear it. Sometimes you’ll get preachers who come on and scream the word of the Lord up front during the duration of the ride. Though it can be annoying, it’s also rather impressive. I like to think that it’s part of their training in seminary: they have to deliver sermons on a certain number of buses. The most bizarre form of camioneta busking I’ve seen (and this happened twice) was a man got on and made balloon animals (he was very good) and then ask for donations. Yes camionetas are quite the experience but unfortunately riding on them is your best chance of being robbed so you always have to be on the lookout.

My usual camioneta ride is the 5 a.m. bus that departs Salquil Grande for Nebaj. I wait outside of my house for the camioneta to roll-up, lights flashing in the dark, foggy street. I’ve mentioned before that they play a variety of music on the camionetas but on those that run between Salquil Grande and Nebaj all you’ll here are Christian tunes. Everyone is sort of in a sleepy half-awake state as the sun comes up during the ride. Once I would love for something like “Angel of Death” by Slayer to come blasting on and just see everyone whip their heads up in surprise. The other day on the bus someone was playing “Tarzan Boy” by Baltimora which made me smile because I remember it was on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III movie soundtrack I bought when I was 6.

The other common method of transportation are microbuses (in Africa we called them bush taxis). These are preferable to camionetas because they’re faster, usually more comfortable and sometimes the music is better. This past weekend I had a fun microbus experience. I was headed to Quiché, the department capital, to buy some things for my house so I caught a microbus in Nebaj for the beautiful three hour ride. We’d only made it two blocks when the woman next to me pulled out a bag and started gagging. Within ten minutes two other people were vomiting. I hugged the window, opened my book and tried not to smell. The first part of the drive from Nebaj to Quiche is a winding, rapid descent down the mountains with a stunning view, easily one of the most spectacular drives I’ve ever been on. Luckily the weather was sunny and clear and I could see for miles and I tried to focus on the beautiful day as opposed to the Guatemaltecos ralphing around me. I don’t know who Ralph was or what he did that made his name synonymous with vomit (although I have a clue) but I feel sorry for the guy.

On another note I’ve got a new address now that I’m out at post and it’s apparently more reliable than my previous one so please send stuff! Oh and also big thanks to Zach, Miles, and Will for keeping me up to date with good music.